Jago-Dillard

== **If you haven't worked with a Wiki before, it's really easy. Just click on the EDIT button on the right and you can just type/change things that people have already written. Use a different color and let us know who is what color so we can see who made edits, etc.** ==

__The purpose__ of this assignment: expose you to collaborative writing processes using web-based tools. __Aim:__ Examine the idea of cohesive writing in a professional essay and articulate your findings; practice seeing the frame or “architecture” of a nonfiction piece __Outcome:__ a 1-2 page document (ABSOLUTELY NO LONGER THAN 2 PAGES) accessible on the web in a format that will be easily & quickly read in class. On page 26, Jago asks her students to deconstruct an essay to explore how a writer works with a thesis and supporting ideas to make the meaning of the essay come together. Dillard's piece is a breathtaking example of cohesive writing. It's written in sections-- what Gutkind calls a 'segmented essay'-- and it's about a weasel, for Pete's sake. How does she make this piece hang together? With a partner or your writing group, use a web-based tool to explore what makes Dillard's essay cohere. You'll probably find that the way she builds her thesis is an important part of the cohesiveness of the essay, but there is always so much more at work in Dillard's essays. At work here: Image? Sentence structures or patterns? Word choices? Point of view? Scenes? Please look at 1 aspect of her thesis (or, her intention) and the way she uses ideas to build toward it. Then look at least one of these: her use of images, her choices in framing, or point of view, or language (e.g., sentence structure), or any other device you see her using. (I leave it to you to define these categories, based on your own reading of the piece.) As soon as you've decided on which tool you will use, please invite me in as a silent partner. This is NOT a formal writing assignment. Bullet points, phrases, etc. are fine, but please make sure we can read & understand.

So I went off of using the second quote i found as our thesis. I wasn't sure if any of you guys had taken a look at it... so I just went ahead and started. -- I agree that this should be our thesis. I also agree! Thanks so much Michelle for setting this all up and pushing us to get started : ) I'm an idiot when it comes to wikis so I would have been totally clueless trying to start one. 11/11/09 erica finkelstein
 * 11/9/2009--Michelle Yoo** my edits are in this color 11/10/2009 michelle yoo
 * 11/11/09 - Lauren Konopko - ** my edits are in this color

elise.. i think you deleted some of my post by accident b/c we are editing at the same time. My edits are pink. I already did word choice.

11/11/09 - **Elise Baker** - my edits are in this color Again, thanks Michelle. I will be editing tonight mostly... crazy before my class, but will be online after. If we want to talk about stuff as we work give me a call or Facebook me :)

As far as working on specific sections, I can do Word Choices... I can also take Scenes if you want. Okay... Erica is online now, and appears to be doing Word Choices, so I will take Scenes. Also I can be responsible for sort of editing the entire thing to make it work together if that is alright for all of you. Like a final cohesion brush-up =)

Okay, I'm going to get offline right now so that won't happen again, but I'll do Scenes later tonight!

I just finished my scenes part... anyone can feel free to correct if you think any of them are wrong. I was a bit hazy about what constituted a "scene". Also, I added to the Images section and made some overall editing changes. Anyone can feel free to edit mine or edit more. Just put your editing marks in your own color so we can see who is doing what.

In terms of format, I think bullet points is fine... unless you want to do something else Erica, Elise, or Lauren. So she said we could do it as a whole group and I think that is best. We should figure out how we want to divide this/get a thesis together ASAP. She said for us to look at at least one of the things listed below the thesis (images, sentence structures, etc.) so we should decide who wants to be in charge of what. I mean, we'll all collaborate/add to it, but each person should be responsible for a portion.

_


 * Thesis:** " **The weasel lives in necessity and we live in choices, hating necessity and dying at the last ignobly in its talons. I would like to live as I should, as the weasel lives as he should" (68-69)** . (Deletion by Elise =)


 * Supporting Ideas: ** "That is, I don't think I can learn from a wild animal how to live in particular--shall I suck warm blood, hold my tail high, walk with my footprints precisely over the prints of my hands?--but I might learn something of mindlessness, something of the purity of living in the physical senses and the dignity of living with out bias or motive" (68). **

Segments: (and how do they work together) : ** T he weasel stories are segmented in such a way that at first glance, they really don't seem to have any sort of relation to one another. But in terms of what they have in common: all have interactions with humans and all show the weasel as something that is self-reliant and lives on its own terms. **

Images:** "I missed my chance. I should have gone for the throat. I should have lunged for that streak of white under the weasel's chin and held on, held on through mud and into the wild rose, held on for a dearer life. We could live under the wild rose wild as weasels, mute and uncomprehending" (79). / "Then even death, where you're going no matter how you live, cannot you part. Seize it and let it seize you up aloft even, till your eyes burn out and drop; let your musky flesh fall off in shreds, and let your very bones unhinge and scatter, loosened over fields, over fields and woods, lightly, thoughtless, from any height at all, from as high as eagles" (70).

"Weasel! I had never seen one wild before. He was ten inches long, thin as a curve, a muscled ribbon, brown as fruitwood, soft-furred, alert. His face was fierce, small and pointed as a lizard's; he would have made a good arrowhead. There was just a dot of chin, maybe two brown hairs' worth, and then the pure white fur began that spread down his underside. He had two black eyes I did not see, any more than you see a window," (67). Lauren's note: I don't think I've ever seen a weasel but this description really helped me to picture what one would look like!

"Our look was as if two lovers, or deadly enemies, met unexpectedly on an overgrown path." Elise's note: It is interesting that in intensity the looks of lovers or deadly enemies are similar. I can imagine exactly how this would feel. Also, since I am in charge of scenes, I feel that this simile provides a scene within a scene - the reader departs from the idea of a woman and a weasel for a moment to envision him or herself locked in an unexpected gaze with his or her lover or enemy.


 * Sentence Structures/Patterns: ** Sentence length and complexity vary greatly in this piece from the opening line of "A WEASEL IS WILD" (65) to to the closing line: "Seize it and let is seize you up aloft even, till your eyes burn out and drop; let your musky flesh fall off in shreds, and let your very bones unhinge and scatter, loosened over fields, over fields and woods, lightly, thoughtless, from any height at all, from as high as eagles," (70). WOW what a difference! It is really incredible that the same author can go from a simple statement without any punctuation other than the ending period to a sentence with eight commas, one semi-colon, and an ending period.

The author seems to use shorter sentences to emphasize certain thoughts. For example when she tries to reflect on the inner workings of the weasel's brain, she writes: "What goes on in his brain the rest of the time? What does a weasel think about? He won't say," (68). Her questions are clearly defined when stated simply rather than in a more elaborate matter like many of her reflections are. The simple "He won't say" can indicate frustration and is certainly more effective than if she wrote "I can't figure it out." This phrasing also gives the weasel more power as it seems as if he is withholding information from the author. It seems as if many of her questions are short sentences but the author even varies this pattern with questions such as the following: "Could two live under the wild rose, and explore by the pond, so that the smooth mind of each is as everywhere present to the other, and as received and as unchallenged, as falling snow?" (69).


 * Word choices: Some words associated with the weasel in the very beginning include: wild, stalking, killing, instinct, thin, muscled, alert, and fierce. These could be used to describe various wild animals, yet the weasel is what this story focuses on. In my experience, weasels have had a negative connotation in fairytales and things of that nature, which makes it a unique image to focus on here. Dillard plays into this connotation through his word choice listed above that shows very few positive representations.

Another interesting word choice is used to describe the human relationship with the weasel in the story when Dillard writes: "Our look was as if two lovers, or deadly enemies, met unexpectedly on an overgrown path when each had been thinking of something else..." (67). This is interesting because it seems rather difficult to see the connection between two lovers and deadly enemies. Perhaps Dillard is using this binary to show that even though lovers and enemies seem to be opposite, they share a lot of the same qualities and lovers can shift to enemies rather quickly. ** Elise's note: It is interesting that this quote seems to resonate in many different areas: Images, Word Choice, and even perhaps Scenes.


 * Point of View:** The author clearly is reflecting on a moment in the past and how it affected her ; it seems to vary between a more emotionally removed approach (i.e. background information about weasels) to scenes of more intense personal reflection. Despite the engagement of the author in the scene (such as the moment she was in the weasel's brain and vice versa due to their continued starting at one another), I do not see this piece as being emotional.

Scene 1: The weasel and its prey: "He sleeps in his underground den..." (65).
 * Scenes:**

Scene 2: The naturalist and the weasel: "One naturalist..." (65).

Scene 3: The weasel that bit an eagle: "...and found the dry skull of a weasel..." (66).

Scene 4: The pond in Virginia: "Near my house in Virginia..." (66).

Scene 5: Last week at sunset: "I walked to the pond and sat on a downed log..." (66).

Scene 6: The author as weasel: "I missed my chance," (69).

Scene 7: Death and its role in human life: "Then even death..." (70).